MASKS

Old Age, I decided is a gift……sort of..

I am now probably for the first time in my life the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body!   I sometimes despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy skin and the aching bones. And often I am taken back by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, and my loving family for less white hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind, patience towards others, taking this life more seriously in regards to eternity.

I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookies, or for not making my bed.  I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many people not appreciate the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to watch TV till 1 AM or play on the computer until 3 AM and sleep until noon?   I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50's & 60's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost one….. I will.  I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten.  And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a child, or when your children suffers.  A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the compassion of others during your grief.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning white, and to have my youthful laugh be forever etched into grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. The best part is not having to go to work!   And,  I've even earned the right to be wrong.

I, for one, do have many regrets and what if's.  Some say, if they had to live life over - they'd do it the same.  Not me, I would want to change many things. We were not the best parents, but we did the "best" we could do.

So, I do not like growing old. Even though it has set me free.  I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever; but I will live eternally with my Heavenly Father in heaven for eternity.  But while I am still here,  I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)